Why do we get jealous of others? Is Envy an inherent instinct? Does it trigger an innate emotion conducive to self-preservation? Is it similar to that shot of adrenalin that informs humans (and all animal species) of danger — initiating the ‘fight or flight’ instinct?

We are taught that being envious of others is petty, selfish behaviour. As a matter of fact, it is considered one of the seven deadly sins.

However, if we observe early childhood development, envy and selfishness appear to be a basic trait that occurs naturally, and often. Children have to be taught to share, to be considerate, to not want to be the center of attention at all times.

We know that a child’s universe is extremely self-centered. Specifically, because they are unaware that the rest of the world is out there. They know what they know, and need. And that is “everything” is all about them, what they want, when they want it, and right now. When we are children, there is no sense of time and space, or patience. It is instant gratification from the moment we arrive on the planet.

We can’t blame parents for making their child the center of their universe, because children can do nothing for themselves. Everything has to be done for them. Is that the beginning of proprietorship? When children learn that these people (parent caretakers) are their jurisdiction? “They take care of all my needs.”

Even before a child becomes aware of danger, they know their needs will be met by these people (parent caretakers) showering them with affection and protection.

Hence, when that attention is taken away, even momentarily, for say, another small being, it becomes a threat. Sibling Rivalry is universal. It generates feelings of envy, caused by fear that the all important “I” is being neglected and abandoned.

And, if I am abandoned, what will happen to me? Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! warns the programmed robot.

Therefore, envy is a product of fear, like most things that cause us trouble. Even when you connect it to the saying that, “Envy is the highest form of flatter.” It is a reflection of a “sense of self” not having something that someone else has, which reflects back to the abandonment issue.

If I don’t have that, I am not blah blah blah me me me, my my my, I I I…therefore, why does that person have …. and I don’t.

Then, like we do when we are children, we have a need to “take it” from them, to deprive them of this thing that should be ours, so that we will be safe, and happy, and well.

This emotional safeguard starts early. And it continues throughout childhood with our siblings, our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers, our mates, and the people we make our outright enemies. For instance, other countries that we war against.

It requires an enormous amount of grace, and humility, and compassion to overcome this seemingly innate emotional safeguard. The good news is that we are all capable of having all those “good” traits as well. The key is learning to cultivate them.

Unfortunately, the political, religious, and eductional institutions created to do just that, have not succeeded wholly. Instead, they have managed to cultivate seeds of division, which counters those “good” traits, and inflames the emotional safeguard of envy, perpetuating strife, unnecessary conflict, and societal chaos.

It’s one thing to have choices, i.e. a particular faith that suits your needs, etc. However, when we are programmed at the beginning of our lives to believe that our faith, our political preference, our school or team, our nation, our sexual persuasion, is not just a good way, but the best and only way, we have essentially generated societal polarization.

No civilization can survive strongly or lastingly under that strain. Community is threatened while community is under the guise of communing…sharing.

Once we understand that jealousy, envy, and even sibling rivalry are stepchildren of a fearful emotion for self-preservation, we can begin to engender those three most valuable human traits mentioned above: grace, humility, and compassion.

True, there are dangers in the world. Natural disasters, sickness and death, because they are the unknown factor. Human violence and devastation are products of societal flaws created from unnatural fear.

Fear itself, is a product of our imaginations. Envy, jealousy, and sibling rivalry become self-deprecating characteristics left over from our childhood.

Guess what? There are no monsters in the closet or under the bed. And if we’re still suffering from these vices, tendencies toward envy, jealously and sibling rivalry, it’s time to grow up. It’s that simple. But no one is saying it will be easy. Growing pains are never easy.

So thank you to the sites that borrow my articles and releases to promote other greeting card companies, I’m flattered! Especially greetinggallery.com, jh183.com, and davickservices.com…there are probably more out there, but you get the spotlight here. I will share your handy work later on in this article.

They are certainly not lazy. I can’t imagine taking the time to “borrow” someone elses work, create a website based on that work, and ask the competitors to my work to pay to advertise on that site.

It would seem to me that if a person is that creative and industrious, they could spend their precious time, not stealing, but developing something amazing, legitimately. Because they are obviously very capable.

I use the term “stealing” because my articles are being reprinted, sometimes re-titled, sometimes left wholly in tact, without my permission. And without my knowledge. You could always ask someone if you could reprint their work without payment — as added publicity. You know? I was never asked or paid for them. Of course, if I were paid, then they could re-print them as they see fit. I think it’s called copyright infringement, which has to do with intellectual property laws…blah blah blah. Anyway…

I am always stunned by the amount of time and effort people take to create chaos. If only we could find a way to help these creative minds to channel that energy into something good. The possibilities!

First, I want to give acknowledgement to the concentrated and determined “spam” that keeps recurring, in an attempt to destroy my site using you know what… you are persistent!

Name: \’)/* | URI: ekibastos | IP: 87.118.116.150 | Date: July 17, 2008
ekibastos…
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d47s_test137@hotmail.com | URI: urlser.com/?IQpnn#0 | IP: 90.153.128.13 | Date: June 29, 2008

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Second, again, thank you to greetinggallery.com, jh183.com, and davickservices.com… Here’s your official debut on my blog (please don’t take this to mean it’s okay to continue “borrowing” my work without permission):

Greeting Gallery – Greeting Cards | All About Postcards
All About Us Greeting Cards has recruited former Wide Receiver, Charles “Jabari” McKee to write a new greeting card line. The selection entitled, “Word by..
www.greetinggallery.com/all-about-postcards.php · Cached page

Show more results from www.greetinggallery.com
Greeting Cards – Shopping and Services – Web Directory – JH183 All About Us Greeting Cards partnered with Powell’s Books to introduce “A Good Book” Summer Reading Series. Thu, 31 Jul 2008 09:13:09 GMT You As A Pop Up Greeting
- Stand-Up Doll …

jh183.com/shopping_and_services/Greeting_Cards · Cached page Mom’s Card Saves Foreclosure Victim’s Life
When All About Us Greeting Cards introduced their new line of cards this past Spring, the goal was to generate consumer interest; saving a young …

www.davickservices.com/moms_greeting_card_saves_.htm · Cached page
All Regions (Including International) Press Releases and News – PR.com All About Us Greeting Cards partnered with Powell’s Books to introduce “A Good Book” Summer Reading Series. – July 31, 2008 – All About Us Greeting Cards for the 21st Century
www.greetinggallery.com/all-about-holiday-cards.php
http://jh183.com/shopping_and_services/Greeting_Cards/

admin(AT)greetinggallery.com

Third, and finally, kudos to the “collections” or whoever you are, who apparently want me to know that you’re on to me…I don’t know your motives or agenda as far as what response you are seeking from me. Paranoia? Intimidation? Run and get that trunk of gold under my bed and send it to ya? Heh? Or I’ll bet you think I’m gonna run and get my passport and try to sneak out of the country. Maybe if I really owed you anything, who knows. But since I don’t, it isn’t working.

The power of suggestion to intimidate and manipulate only works if the person is guilty of something, or weak and stupid. Nada here.

So, unfortunately, all I got is that I “get it” when you plant 100’s of 1000’s of Debt Collection ads all over my site and blog, the constant emails, the relentless links around my press releases, and the debt relief marketing calls, really?…

Kinda got that stalker thing going on, huh?

Here’s an example of one…
Eliminate My Debt Consolidate My Debt Call MY Debt Relief…it goes on and on and on and on and on and on, every link, every ad, every email spam. Obviously, its your full time job, but really dude.

Suggestion: read my article “The Debt Thing”. Take the advice there because I believe in the legal way of doing things. Anything else is just insanity. And I’m gonna let you do that all by yourself.

Now, that I’ve finally aknowledged all of your presence and you succeeded in getting my attention and response, my little children, let’s try and find something positive and productive to do to keep us busy. I’ve found something worthwhile to pursue that isn’t bothering anyone. Now you try. Use those brains for good, okay?

Let’s get out there and create and mind our own businesses! YEAH!!!

In conclusion, my only real wish is that you would stop hiding in the shadows, and if anyone has a beef with me, I’m a nice person. Easy to talk to. If you like my work so much and want to be a part of it, Let’s talk it out. If you don’t and it’s annoying, what about not coming to the site anymore? But I guess that wouldn’t be any fun would it?

It’s only fun for demented people if they are bringing people into their dark world.

Whats that saying? With friends like these, who needs enemies? Glad you got my back fellow human beings. And how does a person acquire enemies if they don’t reveal they are your enemy? Was it your childhood dream to grow up and be creepy? Congratulations! You are a success!

Have a nice day!

If you could somehow look into the future, and know the day you were going to die, what would you do differently?

Would you make the most of every day? Would you be a better person? Would you pursue every dream if you had the time?

Or, let’s say, you woke up this morning, and had a sense that this would be the day that you died. (Think about the movie, “American Beauty”) What would you do?

The passing this weekend of two extraordinary men makes us all think of our mortality. Perhaps Isaac Hayes heard of Bernie Mac’s passing on Saturday and thought, “Wow, so young, so much going for him and so much to live for…and just like that, he’s gone.” It’s unlikely that he thought, “Tomorrow will be my last day on Earth.” Instead, he went to his treadmill and worked out and it was his last day. Just like that.

Life on Earth is this complex mystery. We know we are born and we know we will die. We have no idea how humans really got here, why they are here, and where we are going once we leave here. Science and all of the major religions have their theories and beliefs. Faith in something good is a great thing. Nevertheless, no one can predict how long anyone will be on this planet.

We have no idea how long our lives will be once we are here. It could be a day, a week, a month, a year, 20 years, 50 years, 98 years, or 105 years.

We have no idea what will happen in five minutes from now. We can plan for tomorrow or for five years down the road or for our retirement. But we know it’s just building castles in the sky because we don’t know what will happen.

It seems as though we’ve each been allotted a certain amount of time on this planet, in this lifetime. And, when it’s our time to go, money and power can’t save us, beauty and fame will not keep us here a day longer. Nor will our religious faith.

So, if we know that each day we are given could be our last, what would be the last thing(s) you’d want to say or do?

Apologize to someone for wittingly causing them pain or suffering? Return something stolen? Get revenge on an enemy? How do you want to leave things?

Here’s an idea. Every morning upon awakening, make a To Do Life List. It can be short, or it can be as long as you wish. List the things that you feel need to be said or done, just in case, this is your last day.

Example:
1) Call a friend or loved one and say, “I love you”, or “I’m sorry”. Or, get something off your chest that has been bothering you. It’s never too late if you’re still here. It doesn’t matter how much time has gone by since the incident. Maybe you did something or someone did something to you years ago.

If you still remember it, it’s still bothering you and you need closure. That is the ultimate cleansing. It’s better than an enema!

2) Don’t wait for tomorrow to start the diet, or exercise program. Put the pancakes and sausages and Latte back, and stock up (as best you can) on fruit, and herbal tea, and fresh vegetables, and tofu. If you woke up, you’re still alive, so walk around the block before work. Or do five minutes of stretching. Enroll in an exercise or yoga class. And GO.

3) Something you always dreamed of doing? Taking a trip, or learning a new hobby? Look into it. Today. Find out how much it’s going to cost and enroll in a class or make a reservation. Make plans to move to a new city, or a new country, if that is what you’ve always dreamed of. Experience it by doing it. Now.

Make the list and check something off every day that you get a chance at this living thing. Just like you do at your job. You know the things you have to get done, you make priorities and do as much as you can, and whatever is left over, you plan to do tomorrow.

Life is not like that. Life priorities take front and center stage. Cleanse your life. Anything lingering from the past is just baggage that you don’t want to take with you to wherever we go.

The past is more transparent than Air. You can feel Air, but you can’t touch the past, or see it, or talk to it. It’s gone. A mirage. You can only hold a changing picture of it in your imagination. Where it can either do a lot of damage by keeping you prisoner to it, or block you from experiencing the new joy of Now.

Remember how God’s Angel told Lot and his family not to look back at the destruction of the City, and Lot’s wife looked back and she turned to Stone? She looked back and stayed in the past.

For all we know, we may not go anywhere when we die. Metaphysics suggest that life could end in this body and our spirits could just attach to another body. (Think about the Warren Beatty film “Heaven Can Wait”?; or breath stops in this body and starts again in the same body in another version of this same reality, and keeps going on as if nothing happened. Quantum Physics sort of describes this as the Many World Theory.

Finally, can you imagine doing something so horrible and regretful and not getting a chance to make amends?

We often think, I’ll ask God to forgive me for that before I die. Or we ask God to forgive us, but we don’t forgive ourselves because we don’t correct it while we have a chance. And it’s not just that we may die, but the person we did the thing to may die. Having to live with the remorse of not clearing that horrible thing up would be like turning to Stone.

When my Dad was 89 years old, he didn’t want to move into an Assisted Living place because he didn’t want to be around “old people who were dying”. He lived until he was 96 and although his body was failing him in many ways, in his mind, he believed he was still young. And then his mind started to go. Dementia set in.

I like the idea that wherever he is, he is a young man, strong, virile, excited about life, full of energy. That he left this life with no past regrets, a new beginning, with no baggage.

To live our lives fully, purposefully, meaningfully, peacefully, is knowing ahead of time, that we will leave with no baggage.

It makes a richer NOW.

In the News again today, “Another Professional Athlete Busted for Cocaine!” No need to say a name, it doesn’t matter.

It’s not an epidemic. It’s a deception. Drug dealer’s target athletes for three reasons:

1) Money
Athletes are targeted early…in college…in high school. The more potential a player shows in those formative years, increases the money opportunities in the pros. Hence, if you can get them hooked before the money comes, you’ve got a “wealthy client” for the long term.

2) Exposure
High profile clients, candidates for idol worship, will improve the odds to lure in impressionable fans. Everytime a well-known athlete is exposed for drug possession, it glamorizes a way of life. It’s free advertisement.

3) Vulnerability
Most of these athletes are young men who have not come into their own. They do not have a sense of self-awareness and, like everyone else, have a need to belong, to be cool. They are told, “to be a man, you need to do this and handle that.”

So who gets targeted most and why?

First, compare African American Athletes to your White Athletes. How often do you hear of a Larry Byrd, or a Wayne Gretzsky, or a Dan Marino getting busted on crack? Now, let’s consider Strawberry, or any number of great Black ballplayers who have gone down that dark road.

Most of these young men did not have strong male role models in their life and it’s easy to fall for this deception. Most of these young men come from single parent, mostly mothers, households. It’s easy to listen to the older guys who approach them. They are vulnerable targets.

Certainly, there are many exceptions, Kareem, Magic, Dr. J, Mike, Jason Kidd, Kobe, Barkley, Bonds, and on and on. And consider that most of these names came from two parent families. They had involved father figures.

Nevertheless, somehow, the poor choices by the ‘other guys’ get the most exploitation and make it seem rampant among Black atheletes. And it is. Because they are the most vulnerable.

Illegal drug use and abuse by any athlete, including sterioids is idiotic. Common sense should win over. Your body is your key to success. You need your body in tip top shape to perform at your best. To perform at your best, you need your mind sharp. Drugs counter all of that.

It wears your organs down, it diminishes your aptitude, your quickness and speed, and distorts your judgment. And if you need sterioids to compete, maybe you’re in the wrong business. Specifically, African American athletes should realize they don’t need the added boost. They are just told they need them. Like race horses.

Critically, drug abuse increases your chances to lose not only your reputation and standing — your potential — but, if caught, no…when caught, you lose your freedom. A loss of freedom is equivalent to slavery. Didn’t we overcome that?

So, essentially, you become a slave to an intangible object, some inanimate thing that has no power to make you do anything, because drugs can’t speak, they can’t demand that you take them, they are not holding a gun to your head. It’s a pebble…a stone…a pet Rock that becomes a boulder, then a mountain that you are chained to.

Addiction is real, physically, but it’s also mental. An addict is married to his or her drug. The drug becomes your employer, your best friend, your child, your God.

There is not a little boy in the world who dreams about growing up and becoming a pro ball player, ever imagines they will become addicted to crack or meth and destroy that career. It’s not in their plans.

It’s a deception that found them before they saw it coming. And then it becomes a trap, sometimes a life long trap.

With all the speeches and anti-drug campaigns, nothing has penetrated the psyche of pop culture more than the glamorizing of drugs using icons. It was a bold move by the powers that be. It started with the tobacco industry.

Illegal drugs are a multi-trillion dollar tax-free business. It is the most profoundly enterprising pyramid network in the world. Nothing and NO ONE will ever be able to burst that bubble. It affords only the people at the very top of the pyramid to live a vast and luxurious lifestyle. And the “middle-men” get to live large for a very short amount of time and then the ride is over. They are expendable because most of them become their own clients.

Impressionable young minds will hear the lectures, and soak in the anti-drug ads, but most will follow the “trendy” thing to do. And talk is cheap.

The only way to reach future generations and to try and save the ones already affected, is for the successful men and women icons to launch major, major anti-drug campaigns…actually going into the schools and the communities and making more and more commercials and print ads. Market it like it’s hot to not do drugs.

Another antidote would be to find a way to persuade the media to stop covering celebrity mishaps when they involve drugs. If those incidents fail to receive exposure, eventually, young people will stop associating drugs with success. That doesn’t mean covering it up or hiding it.

It means acknowledging how detrimental those actions are and the cost. It could start with celebrities making statements about how much it costs to get out of those situations, and how difficult it would be for the average person to get back on their feet from the consequences of the legal ramifications.

Crime doesn’t pay, but you will. Using drugs is criminal behavior. The penalty is prison, a lost future, or a vicious cycle of a seamy, scary, and shameful lifestyle. Ain’t nothing glamorous about it. Drugs take the edge off only once, the first time. After that, it’s a trap. Drugs cannot make you escape your daily grind, they only create another cross to bear.

Abusing drugs can and will kill you eventually. Another penalty is poor health if you manage to survive. But the ultimate penalty is an early grave. And let’s face it, a grave at anytime is too early. Especially, if it could have been avoided.

Avoid the deception. Tell your “friends” to take it on down the road and sell it, cause you’re not buying. And feel good about that. If you’re already involved, be brave, get help, get clean, get free. Don’t be afraid to start over. Many, many people have done it.

Now that’s being cool. You’ve got four minutes to save the world.

There is no mortal comparison to Nelson Mandela. There are other great leaders, but none to have sustained such horrible, inhumane injustice, just for standing up for RIGHT. For believing in his right to stand, suffering the consequences, and, like the Great Phoenix, return from the ashes of his life, and still stand.

For another nation to invade your country, oppress, rape and pillage your people and your land and then, imprison you for more than a decade, taking you away from your wife and children, most people would demand retribution against his persecutors and false accusers. After all, he was fighting for his own country.

We honor you Mr. Mandela and marvel that you are still going strong. That you are still standing for humans all over the world. And most of all, that you have shown us how to live in the face of adversity, with grace and humility and courage and strength.

Long Live Our World King Mandela.

What do you think is the number one reason that causes people to be unhappy? Money Problems? Relationships? Work?

None of the above. Why? Because rich people can be unhappy. Couples that are very much in love can still be unhappy. A person with the greatest job in the world can still be frustrated and unhappy.

The number one reason for unhappiness is a lack of personal fulfillment. When we are not fulfilling our purpose on this planet, we may not realize it, but it leaves us adrift — idle. Sort of in a state of “waiting” for “it” to happen. That thing that makes it all come together, makes life worth living, centers us, calms us, motivates us to get up every morning with a spring in our step.

That’s the hardest thing in life to find.

And very few people on this planet ever find it. There are a number of reasons why.

Of course, we cannot go into the full discourse here in a blog, that’s best left for a longer version, perhaps a book later on.

Basically, we tend to get caught up early on with the basics of life. Finding a “job”, marriage, children. And we never take the time to find out what we’re supposed to be doing. And that is the vital ingredient for being here on this planet.

No one tells us that. College is an opportunity to search for that perfect career, to earn a good salary, and create a solid foundation. But most of the time, graduates end up taking jobs that have nothing to do with their major, or minor. They are not much better off than the high school graduate who accepts the first full time job. Only more in debt.

Personal fulfillment requires something most people are too impatient to try: Stopping everything, Sitting down quietly, alone, and brainstorming. That’s because we live in an instant gratification, now now now faster faster faster world.

We don’t believe we can afford to stop and sit down and listen to our hearts. The truth is, we can’t afford not to. The consequences already prove how disastrous our lives and the world at large have become.

Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Ever hear that before? We take that to mean laziness, or slackers. What it means is what most people are — miserable souls. Souls in misery are souls unfulfilled.

You may be busy, but busy doing things you don’t really want to do. Or, you may not be busy enough. Both cause frustration. And frustration causes all kinds of trouble. Meddling, pettiness, vindictiveness, controlling, manipulation, jealousy, excessive behaviours like addictions or eating disorders, crime and violence, and the list goes on. It’s on the News every day.

Unfulfilled Souls are yearning for what they came here to do. And we mistake that to mean we’re all supposed to be Brad Pitt’s or George Clooney’s, or Jay-Z’s, or Obama’s. Or Oprah’s. Famous, rich, beautiful, and powerful.

If fame, wealth, beauty, and power were the answer, Princess Diana would never have had a moment of unhappiness in her short life. Neither would John F. Kennedy, Jr. Yet, we all know they had many dark days. Just like the rest of us.

And if you achieve that perfect career, that dream relationship, and have all the creature comforts, and still find something missing…it’s because there’s something else you’re supposed to be doing.

Yes, we have to do things we don’t want to do a lot of the time, but the key is finding that one thing you’re supposed to be doing and try to find a way to get to do it, at least some of the time.

How do we find it? It’s easy and it’s hard. We look inside and we look outside of ourselves. We observe the things we do easiest, without thought, that perhaps we’ve sort of been doing all of our lives. We pray about it, we meditate on it, and the mystery will start to unfold.

Your purpose will reveal itself. Most probably, you’ll ask, “that’s it?” But you’ll also discover, “yeah, that’s it.”

And your world will forever be changed.

There is a scripture in the Chrisian NIV Bible, which reads:
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.” Jeremiah 29:12-14

And the verse right before that states:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer.29:11

That was a declaration! Which means to “make known formally, or explicity!” I am sure all other religious texts possess something similarly. Search for it. Ask your spiritual advisers about it. It’s there, somewhere.

Our Spirit Souls may be invisible to us, but they are real. As real as our thoughts. And we know our thoughts are invisible, but just as real because we have them 24/7, even while asleep. They never leave us.

Our Spirit Souls know something that perhaps we once knew, but forgot on the journey here. Therefore, it’s not really a secret. It’s just buried, lost in the harddrives of our memory banks by the recesses of time. It’s there. Your purpose.

Find it, and you’ll find happiness. And all true happiness comes down to is personal fulfillment.

Boredom, frustration, anger, fear, loss and lack and all the negative things we encounter in our lives and our thought world, all come from an idle Soul yearning for peace. That peace will come when the Soul knows it has found it’s true purpose.

“Listen to the Soul” Card – Available at “Word by Jabari”

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